The Worst Films of 2016

5:31 PM

We have covered the best and now it is time to take a wall down the hall of shame - 2016 was an incredibly underwhelming year when it came to the big blockbusters and I will always remember it for being the year of disappointments. It was actually pretty easy to fill this list of 10 terrible films and for once, I don't think the list is too controversial. Unfortunately, I didn't have the pleasure of sitting through Nine Lives, Fifty Shades of Black, Gods of Egypt or Ben-Hur but I did watch many stinkers and I cannot wait to talk about them....for the final time. This post will literally bury those films in their graves as I hope to never watch or talk about them ever again.

Let's begin with some dishonourable mentions...
  • The BFG - I initially came out of the cinema really disliking this film as I just thought it did not transition well to live action at all - it came across creepy. However, as time has passed, I kind of want to watch it again as I feel I am missing something. 
  • The Divergent Series: Allegiant - what even was this? I'll tell you what it was, the film that killed the future of this franchise as the fourth instalment has been halted and looks like it is going to TV - without Shailene Woodly...
  • Florence Foster Jenkins - This wasn't necessarily a poorly made film, it was just very strange and not my type of film at all. 
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows - it was ok at first and now the more I think about this and its Saturday morning cartoon esque villain, the more I begin to dislike it. 
  • The Secret Life of Pets - such high hopes from the trailers and such a mediocre and generic end result. 
  • Storks - The more I think about this film, the more I dislike it. I thought it was too childish and I just wouldn't say it is worth paying to see at all. 
  • Swiss Army Man - A little too weird for me and it ended up taking the most obvious and generic narrative - focusing on sex. 
  • The Light Between Oceans - what a bore fest!
  • Bad Santa 2 - simply put, bad.
  • Passengers - Lawrence and Pratt couldn't save this film from it's awful and silly twist that has serious ethical issues.
  • Inferno - Successfully manages to hide one of its biggest twists for the first 5 minutes...
Now for the worst of the worst - forming my own Suicide Squad of bad movies ;)....

10. Independence Day: Resurgence
The problem with this film is it could have been so good and honestly, the trailers did not look that bad at all. This film was jumping on the nostalgia train and it could have been as successful and as good as Jurassic World. It was not. This film was actually a disaster - both it terms of it's box office performance and the quality of the film because this is not good. It was just silly - the talking sphere things that were supposedly creatures that we should be scared of. Looking back, this film has the same visual style and palette as 2015's Fantastic Four and I really could put those films in the same universe (of bad films). In my initial review, I exaggerated how so many qualities were 'nothing special' and that's where this film slips up, it should have been special! The performances were mixed and the returning cast are made to look like fools. The visual effects are admittedly of a good standard but the stakes were not high enough. 
Rotten Tomatoes: 31%
IMDb: 5.3/10
Metacritic: 32/100
Average: 39/100

9. Zoolander 2
The rest of the films on this list make ID2 look like an amazing film because it really is down a very steep hill from here. Zoolander 2 is a terrible film that no-one wanted and thankfully, not many people saw. Another film trying to jump on the nostalgia bandwagon but this film really does not transition well to 2016 - it felt outdated, cringy and just plain awful. The reason it is not further down this list is there is a very funny Benedict Cumberbatch cameo that made me laugh quite a lot. There are also just way too many cameos in this film - they're not needed and it just makes the film feel all over the place - AbFab did cameos well and actually utilised the celebs within the story, Zoolander 2 just has them there for the paycheque. Looking back at my review for this film and I said 'the only thing I will remember about Zoolander 2 in a few months time is Cumberbatch' and I was right because I really can't tell you much else about this outdated, unneeded, forgettable and terrible film. 
Rotten Tomatoes: 23%
IMDb: 4.8/10
Metacritic: 34/100
Average: 35/100

8. Hail, Caesar! 
Ok, so if any film on this list is going to cause outrage and controversy - it is probably this one. I admit, I think I did not understand this film at all - it all went completely over my head. I am sure it had some messages and fun commentary but I did not get that at all and I honestly think a lot of people did not. The star-studded ensemble unfortunately cannot save what a boring, muddled and strange flick that Hail, Caesar! is. Do not get me started on the finale scene because it is so random and so outrageous - I don't understand it and I think it was darn stupid. This film was different for all the wrong reasons.
Rotten Tomatoes: 85%
IMDb: 6.3/10
Metacritic: 72/100
Average: 73/100

7. London Has Fallen 
This was not only one of the worst films I saw all year but it was probably one of the worst years for a film like this to be released. 2016 was not a great year - so many bad things happened in the world and London Has Fallen basically created a scenario very similar and tried to make that entertainment. I don't know about you but I did not want to see a film like this in 2016 and the fact that it was a bad film makes it even worse. London Has Fallen is that distasteful - it actually mimics some of the scary and horrible events that have occurred in recent times. It was hard to sit through 100 minutes of Gerard Butler pouting with his pretty wooden performance. The visual effects were also very poor and you would think a film like this would have the visuals going for it at least! I'm sorry to say that a third instalment is along the way - Angel Has Fallen will hit cinemas in 2018😫.
Rotten Tomatoes: 25%
IMDb: 5.9/10
Metacritic: 28/100
Average: 37/100

6. Mother's Day
The biggest crime that this film makes is that I believe nobody involved actually put in any effort. I will take a moment to respect the late Garry Marshall but he didn't deserve for this to be his last film. The cast are only there for the pay-cheque, the film was only made to take advantage of the Mother's Day holiday and it looks like that didn't even work because this was not a hit at all. The plot is obvious, predictable and one dimensional, Julia Robert's wig is awful, and it is basically dry of any laughs. I honestly do not know how anyone could like this film (no offence if you do) but there is a place called the trash which is where films like this belong. I know what you're thinking - you seem incredibly harsh on Mother's Day, why is it only at number 6? Because the rest of these films had potential and people did try and they turned out just as bad, that's why. 
Rotten Tomatoes: 7%
IMDb: 5.6/10
Metacritic: 18/100
Average: 27/100

5. Dirty Grandpa
Oh boy, here we go. This was the first film of 2016 that I saw and I knew it would be near the top of my year-end worst list and I saw it in February. This film is abysmal and both Zac Efron and even more so, Robert DeNiro should be ashamed for being involved in this film. DeNiro's career has not hit rock bottom so why is he in a film like this? Why did he read a script and think 'ah yes, I would like to play a raunchy elderly man that masturbates in scenes and is obsessed with sex' - I do not know the answer but something tells me that paycheque must have been nice or there were some contractual obligations from previous projects. Zac Efron still wasn't able to kick off his comedy career with this film (and the reasoning for that is pretty evident). A film with a tasteless and disgusting sense of humour, unprogressive characters and a generic and simple story that manages somehow to lose its way. Dirty Grandpa is a disaster and is the reason why everyone gets wary with directorial debuts. 
Rotten Tomatoes: 11%
IMDb: 6.0/10
Metacritic: 18/100
Average: 30/100

4. Alice Through the Looking Glass
I praised Disney heavily in my countdown of the best films of the year and thankfully I liked enough of their films in 2016 that I was able to forgive them for the travesty that was Alice Through the Looking Glass. Honestly, the only good thing about this was the song recorded my Pink 'Just Like Fire' - everything else was trash. This was a sequel that only got made because Disney thought everyone wanted one - yes, the first may have made over $1 billion but that doesn't mean we want another one. This was the first live action fairytale of Disney's that I despised. I suppose it also does not help that this film came out the same time as all the allegations against Depp came out which made him a pretty unlikeable person. Through the Looking Glass has many opportunities to be different and break boundaries but it does not take them. Depp's performance is awful and his line 'You are not you' is still one I quote to this day due to how ridiculous he executes it. The film is bright and colourful but the visuals are actually not that great. It's not that the great actors in this film had no talent, they did but they were just being OTT to try and make the most of the really poor script at hand. Dull, unsophisticated, confusing and over acted, Alice Through the Looking Glass is a film I wish I could turn back time to forget or decide not to see.
Rotten Tomatoes: 30%
IMDb: 6.3/10
Metacritic: 34/100
Average: 42/100

3. Blair Witch
I don't think I can put into words how much I hated this film. I still haven't seen the original Blair Witch Project and I actually think this film put me off - it is one of the worst horror films I have seen and is the perfect example for why I hate found footage films, especially when they are in the horror genre. The biggest problem with Blair Witch is that it just wasn't scary and that isn't even forgiven by subtle tension building because I was just waiting for the film to end, I didn't care about the characters and I really didn't care much for what was happening on screen. Admittedly, the third act was scary but I think it only feels so scary because the film has been lacking horror all the way. This film also got me interested in droids and I actually got one for Christmas. Blair Witch is tedious to get through with such a slow pace and is actually quite poorly written. For me, Blair Witch is unwatchable and I really hope it buried found footage horror films forever (or until they know how to do them masterfully).
Rotten Tomatoes: 35%
IMDb: 5.1/10
Metacritic: 47/100
Average: 44/100

2. Jason Bourne
I almost missed this film and probably wouldn't have watched it. However, I didn't successfully get away from it as a family member wanted to see it so we all went for their birthday. I wasn't actually prepared for this to be a bad film but wow, this film is intolerable. The way Jason Bourne is shot and edited is the equivalent to a found footage film - you cannot tell what is going on during action sequences and the film is continually cutting from shot to shot. Alicia Vikander really is out of place in this film as well. Jason Bourne was one of the only spy films to come out in 2016 so expectations were high after a slew of intelligent, fast paced and pretty original spy films in 2015 - Jason Bourne is generic, predictable and once again, tedious to get through. This time, it is all down to Paul Greengrass, the director who made some absolutely abysmal creative choices. Definitely the worst action film of the year. 
Rotten Tomatoes: 56%
IMDb: 6.7/10
Metacritic: 58/100
Average: 60/100

1. Norm of the North
You haven't had the pleasure of hearing my thoughts on this film because it was so bad, I didn't even bother to write about it afterwards. After doing some research, it became clear that this was made as a straight to DVD film but the studio decided to give it a theatrical release and how wrong were they for doing that because it is now being featured in Year End worst lists around the world...oh and it wasn't a financial success either. Norm of the North is an animated film that isn't even well animated - this is some of the poorest animation I have ever seen. The plot is stupid and I really don't think children would be interested in it. There isn't really a message at all and there are so many plot holes that probably wouldn't even go over a child's head. Norm isn't even a cute Polar Bear. You haven't seen a truly terrible film until you have witnessed Norm of the North and I really wouldn't recommend it - why would you choose a film like this for your children over Pixar, Disney, Illumination or Dreamworks? You just wouldn't. Norm of the North is a film I will happily be leaving behind in 2016 as it really is just sh*t and has nothing going for it. 
Rotten Tomatoes: 9%
IMDb: 3.7/10
Metacritic: 21/100
Average: 22/100


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